Sex Positions Guide

Man on top - 2

Sex Positions

In an intimate and emotionally open sexual relationship, the role of more dominant and more submissive partner may alternate between the man and the woman. Each partner can be comfortable with whatever a particular sexual position demands of them. For example, during man on top sex the woman is not so much passive as receptive, opening up to her man while he's in a position that seems to imply the more dominant or more "active" role. By contrast, woman on top sex suggests that the woman takes over the role of the more active partner; she is literally "on top" and in control of the rhythm and pace of the couple's sexual activity. And, just as the woman's movements are somewhat limited when her partner is in the man on top position, so his movements are more limited when she is riding high! Side by side sex tends to be more equal - it looks and feels like an act of mutual love and respect, where communication and intimacy between two people is reflected in long, slow lovemaking, albeit with deep penetration and powerful orgasms.

Man on to: the missionary position - uncomplicated, satisfying sex

The legend is that the man on top or missionary position, with both partners lying down, was named after white missionaries by Pacific Islanders, who saw the white men and women having sex in the man on top position - the only one the missionaries deemed acceptable. Apparently the islanders preferred to have sex in the woman on top position, with the woman squatting. Whether that's true or not, man on top is still as popular now as it was then, and of course for very good reason, since it offers great intimacy, the opportunity to kiss, to maintain eye contact, and to have close physical contact between all the most erogenous and sexually sensitive parts of the body.

Best of all, perhaps, from the man's point of view, is that he can move his pelvis freely, and so has great control over the depth and pace of his thrusting. Generally his penis will be at a very comfortable angle when it enters his partner's vagina, and and he can control his pelvic thrusts, making them as deep or shallow as he and she want. The fact that he can change the speed and depth of his movements means that he can find exactly what gives both he and his partner the greatest pleasure and the most powerful orgasm.

In the basic man on top position, the man lies between the woman's legs, which are wide open to allow his penis access to her vagina. It's unlikely that his penis will slip out, but taking it slowly will help ensure that he remains inside her. Men: penetrating her slowly is good for your partner's pleasure: many women love the teasing sensation of their partner's penis slowly entering their vagina just an inch or two, then stopping, then resuming its inward journey, perhaps moving in and out several times within the first inch or two of the vagina before it goes deep into her.

(It's important to respect the moment of penetration, especially if you are making slow, romantic and gentle love. For a woman, the moment of penetration is a symbol of opening herself up to her man, and she needs to be ready both psychologically and emotionally if she is to enjoy it to the full. Her partner can check if she is ready by feeling how moist she is - or she may tell him that she wants him to enter her. That's the ideal way to judge when the moment is right for penetration, because a woman can be physically aroused (i.e. her vagina may be wet) but not emotionally ready for penetration. And it's also possible for a man to have a hard cock but not to be turned on mentally - if you're a man and you've ever been in a situation where you knew that you didn't want sex despite having an erection, you'll understand this.

The basic man on top position illustrated

You can bend your arms more and rest more of your weight on your partner if she is comfortable with this.

Once you're inside your partner, you can begin to thrust gently at first, and also with quite shallow movements, moving your pelvis slowly back and forth and allowing time for the two of you to become fully attuned to the energies flowing between you.

Ways to make man on top sex better for both of you

Penetrating your partner does not mean that you can thrust away regardless of her wishes, needs and desires. She may experience a whole variety of feelings when your penis enters her - and so may you, of course - and it's good to take time to savor the experience and feel it fully. You may wish to keep your eyes open so that you can look at each other as you make love; that adds to the intimacy. Some lovers prefer to close their eyes and focus on what they are feeling - that's especially true for sensitive people who can be a bit overwhelmed by all the sensations and feelings that sex produces.

These days, most men realize that a woman wants more than the physical side of sex - she wants the emotional connections and feelings of being loved by her partner. And even if women's sexuality is a puzzling mystery to most men, at least we are capable of showing love and affection during sex and gaining great pleasure from our partners' sexual happiness. And it's true that most men do actually want to make their woman happy - it's very rewarding for men to give their partner an orgasm, or see her enjoying the feeling of him being inside her.

If the woman wants to move more in this position, she can raise her hips on a pillow and brace her feet against the bed - this will give her greater freedom of movement. Equally, the man can raise himself on his arms so his weight pins her down less. Both of these variations allow her to assert her sexuality more and to gain greater physical pleasure from her own movements.

If this is uncomfortable for the woman, for example if she gets squashed by his weight, or she's pregnant and can't have her man resting his weight on her, or if she wants more clitoral stimulation than the position in the photo above offers, there are many ways to vary the experience.

Deeper penetration

A lot of sex positions books and websites suggest that this is a good position for deep penetration. However, that's only true if the man has a larger than average penis or a flexible erection which will bend down at right angles to his body even when he is completely erect. If a man has a small penis, or if his erection is inflexible and points straight up towards his face when he's erect, he's not likely to be able to go very deeply into his partner in this position.

When you're using sex positions which offer the possibility of deep penetration, it's important that you don't thrust too deep or too hard in the early part of sex. This is because a woman's vagina only reaches its maximum length when she's sexually aroused; until then, her uterus may not be fully elevated, which means your penis can hit it if you thrust too vigorously or deeply before she's ready for deep penetration.

The pleasure of watching penetration

Men, as you know, are very visual, and take great pleasure from the sight of their partner naked and sexually open to them, and they especially enjoy watching the act of penetration. So any variation of man on top sex (or any other position!) which allows a man to see what is happening is likely to prove highly arousing!

Of course a woman may also be aroused and excited by seeing her partner's penis entering her body. But what is arousing and exciting varies from woman to woman: for some it will be knowing they are going to give themselves to their partner; for others, it will be the physical pleasure of vaginal thrusting; for others it will be the whole act of sex, especially the love and intimacy that the act of sex implies. Sexual fulfillment, too, comes from different things: some women will want to have orgasmic pleasure, others will want the sense of closeness and love; and some will want to experience the sheer physical pleasure of being penetrated.

Maximum intimacy

One of the great things about the missionary position is that it allows the two lovers to kiss and cuddle while they make love. Whole body contact is easily achieved, as is eye contact and the luxurious feeling of being surrounded by your partner's body as you enjoy sex.

Woman holds the man close

One of the questions which features a lot in our postbag is whether or not the man on top position produces good sex for the woman. This question often seems to come up because woman wants to enjoy an orgasm during intercourse, but she can't when her man is on top. Well, no, because orgasm during vaginal penetration is not particularly common for women - at least, not from vaginal thrusting alone. Only a small minority of women actually come just from their partner's thrusting: most who reach orgasm during intercourse do so because either they or their partner is stimulating their clitoris as they make love. Obviously this is easiest when you can get a hand or finger to her clitoris, but there are other ways in which you can produce friction on the clitoris - for example, the woman can pull her man in towards her with her legs, so that as he moves, his body weight presses more firmly on the clitoral region. This may be very effective when he moves in a rocking or circular motion rather than a thrusting one.

Man enters his partner from behind

A variation of the man on top position which can produce very intense stimulation of a woman's G-spot. Depending on the angle of the man's penis and her vagina, this may even be too intense for her. So take it gently and softly at first, to see how you both like it. The easiest way to get into this position is to start form the kneeling rear entry and slowly lower yourselves down onto the bed.

Varying the angle of penetration

A very good way to avoid the mechanical rhythm of repeated thrusting - which can become boring and unstimulating for a woman - is to vary what you're doing by changing position so that you stimulate different parts of the vagina (and, for that matter, the penis). The best sex is fun, enjoyable, and varied, and by taking up a position during sex in which he enters his partner from a slightly angled sideways position like the one shown in the first of the four pictures above, a man can give his partner extra pleasure by pressing his penis on different areas of her vagina - some of which may be more sensitive than others.

Woman raises her legs

By lifting one of his partner's legs over his shoulder, a man may find that he can move more easily and at the same time press his body against his partner's vulva region, which can add to her excitement in this position.

Any position which allows the man to put a hand under one or both of his partner's buttocks and pull them slightly and gently apart can be very exciting for the woman - the gentle spreading of the cheeks of her bottom will pull on her anus and add a lot of intensity to the sensations she is experiencing as he thrusts.

The same is true of a gentle spreading of her vulva, for example as he gives her cunnilingus, or plays with her with a finger. For some women, the sense of being opened up and exposed to his gaze can be a powerful and exciting experience.

More on the missionary or man on top sex position

Man on top or missionary is the most common and popular sex position. It is by far the most common sex position in European and American cultures. As recently as 1948, Alfred Kinsey discovered that 70 per cent of Americans had never had sex in any other way. Since then later surveys have indicated that we are more likely to vary sex positions depending on the level of education we have received. If you are college educated for example, you are more likely to use a variety of sex positions than if you left school early and went out to work. However, the missionary still ranks high.

This face-to-face, man-on-top position offers the opportunity to kiss, caress and watch each other's faces during sex. It's relatively easy and is best started off with the woman opening her legs with her knees bent. If you encounter any difficulty guiding your penis into her vagina she is well positioned to reach down with a hand to help.

However, if you allow your weight to collapse upon your woman at any stage of the proceedings, including after your orgasm, you stand a good chance of squashing her. One of the benefits of the missionary is that you can support yourself with your limbs and prevent her from being squashed.

Another benefit is that most women are less strong than men. Should they get the opportunity to be on top, they may find it hard to continue because they get tired. Also, being rather more passive suits some weaker members of the sex. Since man on top sex gives the man the real range of movement she may need encouragement to shift around beneath you. This is especially important if she really gets off on deep thrusting.

The subtle adjustment of helping her to pull her knees up and back during the missionary position is one way of assisting her to deeper penetration. If she doesn't know whether or not this is good for her, take such powerful strokes extremely easily. Some women possess an oversensitive cervix at the end of the vagina and slamming in to it can shock and bruise, not tempt and delight. Some women have a cervical area very sensitive to deep thrusting and find that its stimulation sends up erotic responses to the whole of the body.

One of the great mysteries of male and female sexual fit is that there appears to be a design fault. The penis penetrates the vagina neatly enough but unfortunately never directly touches the clitoris. Unless ... slight adjustments are made during the missionary position. One of these adjustments is for you to snuggle hard up against her pubic mound penetrating her deeply, but not thrusting. Instead, you make very slight rocking movements against her pubic mound. If you have managed to angle yourself slightly up and over her pubic mound, there's a high likelihood that the shaft of your penis will reach direct contact with your lover's clitoris and that your pelvic rocking now offers a chance of her reaching orgasm.

* The pictures expand into much larger and clearer photos when you click on them!

Woman on top - 2

Women on top sex positions: girls take charge!

Women may be more into the emotional aspects of a relationship than men, so if a woman feels intimately bonded with her partner during sex, not having an orgasm is not necessarily going to spoil lovemaking for her. Even so, there are times when a woman will want to fully express her rampant sexuality, experience the maximum richness of making love, and enjoy having one or more powerful orgasms during sex.

Equally, though we often think of a man's role during sex as being that of the leader, setting the pace and rhythm and determining how events proceed, there will be times when he wants to relax and express the more tender, relaxed and gentle side of his sexual nature.

And so we come to the woman on top position - one that allows both men and women to experience a different side of their sexual natures.

A woman can express her natural sexuality more fully in this position than she can when her man is on top because she has much greater freedom of movement, she isn't pinned down by his weight, and either he or she can reach her clitoris and provide enough stimulation to bring her to orgasm. But the advantages of woman on top sex go beyond that. In almost every variation of woman on top sex, a woman can control the amount of friction and pressure her clitoris and vulva get as she and her partner make love: she is, therefore, pretty much in control of her own orgasm.

But she's also in control of the sensual and intimate side of sex. As she sits on her man, with his penis inside her, she can tease and play with him in a way that just isn't possible when he's on top. For example, she can squeeze him with her vaginal muscles as she kisses his lips, his nipples, or his body. She can control how deeply he penetrates her, and how fast she rides him, taking him to the edge of orgasm - or over it - as she chooses. Or, she can ride him in the way that best stimulates her clitoris and brings her to her own orgasm as fast as possible.

And what of her partner? He may find that lying back and letting her take charge is a refreshing experience. It can be thrilling for him to see his partner being so downright sexual - and the sense of being, well, not exactly helpless, but certainly at her sexual mercy, can be extremely exciting and arousing for him.

Woman on top positions in pictures

Woman facing the man

When a woman is squatting over her man, she is able to achieve deep and satisfying penetration while controlling the depth to which his penis enters her. But she must be careful to lower herself gently onto her man, for if he slips out as she descends, and her weight then falls onto his penis, he may be severely injured. (The same is true when she is riding up and down his penile shaft.) The sequence of pictures below shows how she can alter the angle of penetration so that they find the position that gives them both the most pleasure. This is also an ideal position in which to try moving her pelvis in a circle, rather than riding up and down her partner's penis. If she keeps her pelvic mound in close contact with her partner's body, she can get lots of delicious pressure on her clitoris.

As you can see in the pictures, he can also use his hands to caress her and add to her pleasure by stroking her breasts.

Another wonderful thing about this position is that the woman can raise herself along the length of her man's penile shaft so that only the very end of his penis is being gripped by her vagina. Why's it wonderful? Well, shallow penetration with only the very end of his penis tantalizing the outermost part of her vagina can feel wonderful for her. So alternating between shallow and deep penetration can be a teasing, thrilling experience for them both, but especially for her if she also enjoys her vagina being deliciously filled with her man's penis.

By leaning back she may increase the pressure her partner's penis exerts in her G-spot, so giving them both extra pleasure.

In between moments of wild passion (or even gentle slow movements), the energy may ebb and flow so that a couple want to pause and rest. As a neat reversal to the usual order of things, she can lie atop her man as they kiss and cuddle, or simply savor the ecstasy they have just enjoyed. If he has not yet ejaculated, they may rest with his erect penis inside her, simply moving a little every so often so that he remains erect.

The next picture shows how she can reach her clitoris and give herself extra stimulation if she wants to reach orgasm. She will also enjoy having her man suck and kiss her nipples and breasts as she leans over him. However, men need to remember that a woman's body is a sensual thing, her skin a sexual pleasure center, and she'll appreciate attention that focuses on the rest of her body apart from her nipples, clitoris, vulva and breasts.

There's always a sheer joy associated with good lovemaking, but in the woman on top position, sex can sometimes take on an extra dimension that originates in an outpouring of the woman's sexuality. It's certainly possible that some of these expositions may not suit every couple, but they can be a great deal of fun to try.

"Rapturous" is the ideal word to describe the sexual state which a woman can enter when she is having sex on top. Her innate capacity for sexual pleasure and sexual self-expression can come to the fore in this position, as she can move without restriction or inhibition. He can achieve deep penetration, and she can press her clitoris against him, so that reaching orgasm is much easier.

When she is on top, a woman has the chance to fully express herself during sex. She can make as much noise as she likes, and she can move in whatever way suits her, so that if she reaches orgasm, she can extend her pleasure as much as possible. And a woman's orgasm can be very exciting for a man, so the intensely erotic experience of seeing his partner coming may be enough to make him explode too!

Woman facing away from the man

This is a position that will not suit all couples, especially those where the man's penis is stiff and upright when it is erect. The further forward the woman leans as they make love, the greater the strain placed on his penis, up to the point where it becomes uncomfortable. However, as the pictures below show, the woman can express her sexual dominance and offer her partner a good view of her bottom and vulva as she does so!

Finally, three positions in which a woman can control the tightness of her vagina, by bringing her legs together so that much more pressure is exerted on her partner's penis. This position may not be especially comfortable if he has a large penis.

Other points about woman on top sex positions

They're good for men with a tendency to ejaculate too quickly. A woman can ride her man slowly or even stop moving altogether if he approaches the point at which he knows he's going to ejaculate. Mind you, he has to communicate this to his partner so that she knows he is nearing "the point of no return". The couple can rest until his arousal has dropped and it is safe to carry on with their lovemaking.

What do you do if a woman is shy about trying sex in the woman on top positions? It depends on what's causing her shyness. If she's over-sensitive about the size and shape of her body, she might try talking to her partner about how he feels about her body. Men rarely share their partner's critical view of themselves. If it's a lack of sexual self-confidence, then simply making the decision to try woman on top sex might help to overcome the problem - when the moment is right (like when she is very aroused) a woman can then seize the initiative and move into the woman on top position at a suitable point in their lovemaking.

* The pictures expand into much larger and clearer photos when you click on them!